Most people mean well and have the best of intentions, especially when it comes to making lasting change in their lives. However, it’s totally human nature to have doubts, fears, or lack the vision needed to get to where you want to go. The problem occurs when you let those fears and doubts hold you back from achieving your dreams. No matter how large, or how small and insignificant you think your dreams are, they are yours alone – and it’s up to you to make them happen.
Being honest with yourself and recognizing what is holding you back is imperative in order to start moving in the right direction. Here are eight reasons to look for in yourself so you can change your mindset and start achieving your goals.
1. Fear of Rejection/Judgement When we evaluate our social influences, we can see that our belief systems are often the same or similar to those around us. It is completely normal to not want to be judged by our social circle because we are taught from birth to fit in with society. We subconsciously conform to those around us on a daily basis. What if you didn’t? What if you marched to the beat of your own drummer? Imagine how much happier you would be if you were empowered to make decisions for you, instead of trying to please others.
2. Fear of Uncertainty/Discomfort We often say that not knowing is worse than knowing. This is because it drives us crazy worrying about the “what-ifs.” Our minds naturally go to the negative. We constantly worry about things that may or may never happen. Instead of thinking the worst, think about the best possible outcome. Change your what if’s to be positive.
Examples Negative: What if I lose my job? Positive: What if I got a promotion or find a better opportunity!?
Negative: What if I can’t do it? Positive: What if I learn the skills I need and kick butt at it!?
3. Stuck in Habits/Patterns The feeling of being stuck where we are is a big reason why people don’t change. The truth is, we are in control of our reality. Remember that you can always change your circumstances or change your perspective about your circumstances. If something makes you unhappy, there is a reason for that. Listen to your intuition and make changes toward things that make you happy.
4. Overwhelm/Inaction Oftentimes, we become overwhelmed by the number of things we have to do to accomplish our goals, and this can lead to not making any progress or decision at all. Inaction can kill any goal you have if you let it. The worst thing you can do is not try.
5. Confidence and Belief in Yourself
We are often our own worst critics. We can easily lose confidence in ourselves and put ourselves down on a regular basis without even realizing that we’re doing it. Practice noticing how often you experience negative self-talk. We can be harsher on ourselves than others. If your inner thoughts were your best friend, would you want to remain friends with someone who was constantly putting your down? You likely wouldn’t. That’s why it’s important to recognize any negative self-talk and reverse them. Once you do, you’ll start to change your mindset and believe in yourself. For every time you think, “I can’t…” change your thought process to, “I can and here is why/how I can…”
6. Fear of Disappointment/Failure The fear of failure or the notion of possibly disappointing yourself or others may hold you back if you don’t realize that not trying to reach for your dreams is even worse than trying and failing. Even if you fail, that doesn’t mean you can’t try and try again. Believe that you can achieve it – because YOU CAN!
7. Fear of Unintended Consequences Sometimes we may try something new and it doesn’t work out exactly the way we thought it would. This is okay! Sometimes the best mistakes are the greatest achievements. Penicillin was an unintended consequence and look how well that turned out for millions of people. The outcome may not be exactly what you expect, it could be even better.
8. Lack of Clarity/Motivation Another reason people don’t follow through with change is that they don’t have a clear idea of what they really want or why they want it. Evaluate different aspects of your life, such as, career, money, health, relationships, etc. and identify what areas you want to see improvement and list all the reasons why. The more reasons, and the more specific they are, the more motivation you will gain to achieve your goals.