Feeling Stuck Blog Series
On the surface, it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in.” We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.
But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside of you.
And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.
If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the REAL YOU.
1) Quiet the noise in your head
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the schoolteacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything else. This MUST be the first step. How do you achieve a quiet mind? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough support in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.
2) Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways
In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than anyone else in your life combined — that’s a lot of talk! — it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication with yourself and the way you think. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts.
Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.”
Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”
3) Listen to your heart
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and only hear our heads. The two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.
4) Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal
What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation -- as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to your feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.
A person you can know and love - YOU! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?
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